How to deal with five common and challenging behavior patterns
In the course of our everyday interactions with people, we are sure to meet one of the following five challenging behavior patterns. Often, we are caught unaware. Unless you’re quick on your feet, you may find an adequate response beyond your capabilities. Here we take a look at how to defuse such challenging behaviors. If you’re the mild mannered type, here’s some ammunition you can use, which might effect a change in the offender’s way of thinking.
Whether you’re at work, the grocery store, or at a friend’s house, challenging behavior patterns can be a problem. All you want is to go about your business in a peaceful, non-threatening way. However, there are people who thrive on challenging others, for reasons unknown. Conflict is something most people want to avoid, but others just can’t seem to let things go. In fact, certain individuals are not happy until they’ve made a mountain out of a molehill. Let’s take a look at the five most common cases and what you can do to deflect such behaviors, with a positive outcome.
Arrogance is the behavior of choice for insecure people. Such people must demonstrate their superiority in order to maintain a sense of adequacy. Here you are, minding your own business, when a coworker approaches you with a remark on an imagined failure on your part. “You obviously didn’t do your part on this project. Why are you so lazy?” An angry response won’t get you anywhere. You’re just playing into his hands. This challenging behavior requires both firmness and finesse. “I completed my task. I’m sorry you’re dissatisfied with my performance, but if you want to take it up with the boss, be my guest.”
Selfishness is the earmark of the narcissistic personality. These people have never grown up. Such people are only interested in their own satisfaction. You’re standing in line at the grocery store, with just a couple of items. The guy in front of you has a full cart. You ask if you can go ahead, because you’ve got a sick child waiting at home. He says no. In this case of challenging behavior, your response should be to reprimand him in no uncertain terms. “Thanks for your gentlemanly qualities.” Maybe it will give him pause. Maybe not.
Aggressive and hostile behavior is rampant in the world today. This is one of the most challenging behavior patterns. Unfounded accusations, hostile acts and aggressive violent acts can be most dangerous. If the person confronting you is bigger or badder, you’re well advised to leave it alone. Make your exit as gracefully as possible. Here, discretion is indeed the better part of valor.
Manipulative personalities present a special kind of challenge. These people lead you down the primrose path. What starts off as a seemingly innocent discussion turns into an ‘I told you so’ conversation. This challenging behavior pattern is a no-win. If you once recognize the manipulative personality, your best bet is to get out of the way and move on. This behavior is just a game, being played at your expense.
The last, in our lineup of challenging behaviors, is the control freak. This is a sure sign of an insecure individual who, in order to gain a modicum of personal security, must exercise control over others. Such a person usually uses personal relationships, under cover of friendship or romantic involvement. There is not a remedy for this type of relationship. The solution? Get out.
Life is too short to waste time trying to rectify all of the world’s ills. Stay positive and just dust your feet off as necessary.