Secrets of Mind and Reality

Good Behavior

We have a society where psychology is a vital part of child rearing, and yet sometimes people miss the most simple factors. You can talk all you want about developmental stages and emotional needs, but sometimes it just comes down to rewarding good behavior and punishing bad behavior. A child needs to be trained to recognize good and bad behavior instantly, and to instinctively shy away from the bad in favor of the good. If you don’t do this as a parent, then all of your other moral lessons are worth nothing.

When it all comes down to it, it is amazing how acute a child’s moral sense of good and bad, right and wrong can be. As a matter of fact, many children only ever go in for bad behaviors when they are trying to act out. I have met many sweet, well-behaved children who could tell you what behaviors would be considered naughty in a new place before even hearing the rules. They know these things because they have parents who reinforce their moral compass and lead them towards the right actions at every step.

Of course, sometimes enforcing good behaviors is more complex than simply leading the child in the right direction. Sometimes, you really have to go all out and take a structured approach to show the kid what you mean. A good behavior chart is one of the best ways that I know to do this. You can put up a list of what behaviors are allowed and what aren’t, then give the child stars every time he uses good behavior, and penalties every time he does something bad. Have a list of punishments and rewards ready ahead of times so that you can have something to work on. Sooner or later, he will start behaving well all the time.

Of course, some kids need more help with good behavior then that, although most children respond well to conventional parenting techniques. There really are some students who simply can’t get past the chronic behavioral problems they are suffering from. You can send them in to therapeutic counseling, talk to their teacher, Or try out an alternative school. The worst thing you can do is to get really angry with them. Kids with chronic behavioral issues are out of control. They need sympathy and support, not anger and antagonism. You have to tell them that you still love them even when they use bad behavior. The thing you don’t love is the behavior itself. Once they understand this, they might stop acting up quite so much. And the very least, it is worth a try. The good news is that, if you catch the bad early enough, you can turn it into good behavior.