Secrets of Mind and Reality

Raising confident children is a delicate operation

Life today is far more complicated than it was in our grandmother’s day. The nuclear family has been virtually dissolved, along with the family support network. Lives lived at lightning speed further the demands of parenting. Tight schedules complicate the task. We can no longer rely on Grandmas and aunts and uncles to watch over our kids when work requires us to be away.

The latch-key child is becoming more the norm than the anomaly. With less time to interact and monitor our children’s activities, raising confident children becomes more challenging. Yet this is one of the most important duties of a parent. Raising confident children is an imperative, if we hope to send our children off into the adult world with the best chance of successful, happy lives. Let’s take a look at some initiatives we can implement to accomplish this all important task.

Perhaps the best place to start is with an examination of what detracts from this objective. Today’s parents are pressed for time. Children without adequate supervision, attention and guidance are not competent to deal with daily situations, such as bullying and peer pressure. Left unattended, just these two factors can result in a lifelong lack of confidence in their own abilities.

A busy, albeit well-meaning parent may be so caught up in the practical aspects of making ends meet on a day-to-day basis, children’s worries and doubts take an unfortunate second place. To make things worse, the child often subverts their own needs because they are sensitive to the demands of life on their parents.

Now let’s look at ways to combat this syndrome. Raising confident children requires great sensitivity to the small, but meaningful interactions with society, from a child’s point of view. Although your boss may demand top-notch performance from you, you must take a time out from your own worries to address the equally daunting demands on your children.

Here are a few simple steps you can take to raise confident children. First, spend time talking with them about the events of their day. Make the conversation go beyond a general inquiry on how school activities went today. Ask about friends, see if they encountered any problems and find out how you can help.

Pay attention to their strengths and weaknesses and address each in turn. Give ample praise on a job well done. Let them know that you observe their talents in whatever areas in which they excel. Ask their opinion on how you might help them resolve problems. If Jimmy got into a physical confrontation with a schoolmate, find out how the situation got out of control. As an adult, you can give your child guidance on alternate methods of dealing with the situation. Let your children know you are there for them. Intervene as necessary.

Raising confident children is a delicate balance between supporting their accomplishments and teaching them how to handle the difficulties life presents in a more productive way.